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"Mystical Cat (in the Dryer)"

lyrics by Koda

The mystical cat
He's kind of lazy and fat.
Ain't no denyin'
That he knows where it's at.
He drives around
In a number nine cloud,
Moves real slow
And he don't talk to loud.

Hey cat
Everything he does (he does) to the max
Hey cat
Everything he does (he does) to relax

He lives in a twin-towered
subterranean adobe penthouse
That sits in the middle of a big blue lake
that glows and sparkles at night.
He trains his snakes to mesmerize the chickens
and then devourer 'em with smiles on their faces.
He snaps his fingers into flame to light his cigarettes,
but what really impresses the pussys
is the way he keeps his whiskers wet.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
It's time for your bath!
Oh! Look at what happened to you!
(I wonder how that happened?)
We'd better do something about that!

Cat in the Dryer
Goes 'round and 'round
Keeps getting higher
Keeps coming down.
Cat in the dryer
poor thing got wet
So I put him in the dryer
Can't have no wrinkled pets!

Cat in the dryer
(meow! SLAM! no, not quite done yet)
Must be getting tired
Keeps falling on his head!

Now don't do this to your kitty 'cause you'll kill him.
The humane society doesn't do it that way
And that's not how you should do it either.

But tell me something . . .
What's stiff as a board on the inside
And soft and fluffy on the outside?

No, no. That's not it.
What's round and soft and furry . . .
Kind of crunchy inside . . .
And screams like hell when you touch it?

Well, that'll show that cat--
You can't get away with wearing MY sunglasses.

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